heart in the clouds

January 22, 2013

Not Regret but...

Ok so I don't typically write touchy feely blog posts, as most of them have really only been about Blake...but tonight I felt the need.

When driving home today, after I picked up little B from daycare and he snuggled with me right then and there, I had a moment of sadness. Sadness that I am taking B away from his mommy and daddy when the new baby comes. Sadness that he won't get ALL of my attention. And it REALLY hit me when I was rocking him to sleep tonight (yes we still do that...its my only special routine that I get to have my me & Blake time) and realized that I wasn't going to be able to rock him to sleep every night when Mr. Brody comes.

I hear several things from people... first is usually a sigh like "wow...how are you going to do that with two!?"... then I usually hear "but they will be the best of friends". And while I like to think that is the case, I just hope I'm not doing any damage to them early on. A fellow blogger had some of the same feelings and hers are a little bit older now, but she felt the exact same way but has now realized that she's given her son a best friend. I hope and want to think that will be the case with Blake and Brody, but you just don't know :)

Just wanted to ramble a little to get it off my chest... don't get me wrong, I could have NEVER imagined not bringing little Brody into this world and he's NOT even here yet! But at the same time, I hope that Blake will get all of the attention he needs (sadly I think it won't be enough at times of course!).

On a happy note... even though I'm pretty sure Blake really has NO idea what is in my belly right now....but this morning when I was getting ready he of course pulled up on my legs and was standing right under me. Its kind of funny now though, because my belly is getting so big he can't just look up at me, he has to lean back and then look up HA! Anywho... I patted my belly and was telling him his baby brother was in there... and that his name was going to be Brody and that Blake was going to be a BIG BROTHER! He had the BIGGEST smile at me and reached up and touched my belly. While I'm pretty sure he has NO clue what I was talking about, it melted my heart just to see him touch his little brother before he has even arrived. How special that was today....

Thanks for listening :)

Till next time

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